I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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