I am puke
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
