very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
