you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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