You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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