I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
