Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
