Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
