im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
