Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
