elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
