do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
