Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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