Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
