i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize