Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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