there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
