Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
