Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I puked a lego.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize