i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
