so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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