I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
