so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize