it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
