Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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