If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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