Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
