I am puke
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
