who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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