It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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