try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
