Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
