I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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