I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me I should be a condom model.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
