do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
