Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
