You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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