Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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