You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
