I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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