Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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