Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
