I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize