so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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