next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
