yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
