i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When are your genitals available?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
