how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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