you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
