I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
