i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
