i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize