I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
