Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
