Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
