We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
