he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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