the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize