You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
