i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
