some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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