roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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