I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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