i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I looked at my own cervix.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
